Deep Dark Secrets

Okay, so they arent all that deep or dark, but there are things i wouldnt just tell people. Like today was a physical example. I spent all day cooking and cleaning. I LOVE to cook. No one really knows that. I like baking treats for other people and gourmet foods for myself. And the truth is, i'm pretty dang good at it. i dont like to just cook a box of macaroni and cheese, i have to add my own twist. And the only thing stopping me from sauteeing and broiling all the most delicious foods, is my own budget. i live on my own, so i have to pay rent, buy groceries, and still manage to afford my neccessities. so i cant exactly buy fresh wheat or endless fresh veggies to cook to my own taste. i can barely afford chicken nuggets. *groan* thats what i miss the most. red meat, and fresh poultry. seafood isnt a problem since i actually dont like it. And the truth is, i dont like to cook for myself that much. its neccessary, bc i'm picky, but i wish there were someone who i could cook for, to dance with to my music in the kitchen. I used to have someone like that. He had proposed and everything. Strange, isn't it, how the world falls apart? I changed my dreams from successful beautiful business woman, to a strong minded wife and mother, and now i'm on my own. I have no clue what i want anymore. Well, i know what i want: a family, but that doesnt seem like a possiblity for a very long time. and so thats why i want to teach. because then i can benefit the children of my community and still have the successful businesswoman aspect.