Angst

Have you ever watched those silly videos on YouTube called Potter Puppet Pals? I kinda feel like Harry in the Wizard Angst one. He's standing there, bashing his head against the way saying "angst, angst, angst..." and i kinda feel like that right about now. On the plus side, this means i'm feeling deeper emotions again. On the down side...i'm feeling really crappy emotions. Ones that are confusing, and terrifying, and altogether really stressful. And honestly? I wish there were a tactful way to just discuss the issues with the people i'm feeling these emotions because of. College? Pssh, i got that handled as well as i can right now. My job? Its going. All i have left to do is wait. But the people in my life? I can't exactly move them around (metaphorically) to arrange them in my life just how i would like them. They have to want it too. And i wanna just SAY something. But i want them to just say anything! Because i have no idea, no clue, no droplet of inclination as to what others think. But everyone says, "wait. let them say something first." What if i lose my chance? What if it's already out of reach? I don't know if I'm willing to put myself on the line all over again, after everything i've been through. I don't know if i could take that kind of emotional shattering all over again. But its those moments of cheer, of twitterpated anticipation that make everything worthwhile. And i couldn't live the rest of my life without little tastes of that kind of ecstasy. Because, i can't keep going on feeling nothing.