Watch the World Burn

I'm moving forward; thats a realization that i am okay with, right now. lol I'm moving past the past; burning bridges, so to speak. I've lost that once prized connection with the ones i felt closest to; and i let go of the silent, brooding girl i used to be. What i have now seems worthwhile; worth the sacrifice. When i took the trip back home, i saw that things werent going to stay the same for me to come home to, that things had to change there too. I have new close friends, new stories to tell, a new way of looking at things, and i'm good with that. Somehow, with everything new, i feel like i'm finding my old personality; the sparkle i thought i had long since lost. its a good feeling, and i'm happy. But i realize that i'm also a lot more alone. Like last night, when i got so sick because of food poisoning, i wanted so badly to have someone there to hold me and make me feel better; but i had no one. i refused to even tell my roommates that i wasnt okay. And i miss that. I miss having someone to kiss me when i'm sad, or who knows without question how i'm feeling by looking into my eyes. can all that time really have been a waste? a lie? what was the point of the investment?! (obviously i'm not totally resolved on this topic)