thinking aloud

so, i've moved apartments. and my new roommates are great to live with! they're always so sweet and neat and fun, but i dont feel the connection i did before. maybe its just me closing myself off again. but they're all in there talking about boys and their complications, and all i can think is: i can't relate. i'm not even trying here. my heart isn't ready, and in provo you dont get a lot of nic-mo's. or at least i don't. apparently i dont seem like the type. (lol i'm a type?!) but i'm young and i've got a lot of life left to live. i need to reach out and try to connect with people. i dont know why but i feel like that part of my brain is shut down right now. or has been for kind of a while. i have a hard time with small talk too. i am so sick of "where you from?" "what's your major" "what color is your toothbrush?". why can't anyone just be like, "you're cute. take me on a date." end of story. or "hi. my name is so-and-so. how's life?" fantastic is the boring ever present answer to that, btw. ahhh! provo, quit being a bubble and let me have a breath of fresh air, some normal people. please!!